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America's Youngest College Improv Comedy Newspaper. Founded 2018.
Top Stories

DOG DAY AUDITIONS TO TAKE PLACE AT CARSON HALL L02 ON FRIDAY AT 5
by Willy Orwontee
Expected to be the event of the season, anybody who's anybody will be... READ MORE      HANLON SPOTTED RAGING AT DELTA DELTA PI
By Tobias Moortime
Though usually quiet and reserved, our mustachioed president was seen pounding... READ MORE

DICK'S HOUSE: LAUGHTER MORE EFFECTIVE THAN BED REST, ANTIBIOTICS, SURGERY
by Rick Ola
Dick's House has begun selling off all other medications as... READ MORE
        YOUR FRIENDS ON YOU: "FUNNIEST PERSON ALIVE"
By Matt Tress
"They seem to think they aren't funny, but they are," noted your one close friend, and.. READ MORE

TOP SCIENTISTS AGREE: YOU HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO FRIDAY AT 5:00
by Phil Abuster
Dr. Jake Roo, a prominent physicist, expressed his doubt that you actually... READ MORE
        LA NUIT DE CHAT, EVIL IMPROV GROUP, STRIKES AGAIN: NEW HEROES NEEDED
By Bad Pun
Panic erupted in the streets of Prague yesterday as the notorious... READ MORE

COMEDIANS HATE THEM: LOCAL IMPROV GROUP DISCOVERS ONE SIMPLE TRICK FOR MAKING PEOPLE LAUGH
SPONSORED ARTICLE
This normal group of Dogs was just hanging out in Mid Mass when... READ MORE
        99.99% OF POTENTIAL AUDITIONEES REPORT NEVER HAVING DONE IMPROV
By Mike Arkies
In every class, there is that one kid who was president of their improv... READ MORE

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH YOUR CRUSH
By Yuri Lee Cool
"If what they say about people with long forms is true," they said with a wink... READ MORE


        Note from the Editors: We cannot verify any of these claims. In fact, we can prove that most of these claims are false. However, in this age of increasingly uncertain news, we take pride in being a source you know you can't trust.

Classifieds

DOG DAY AUDITIONS
CARSON (basement of Novak) L02
FRIDAY AT 5PM