[cid:fa5c7e36-e12f-4f45-aca7-3ab500120149] America's Youngest College Improv Comedy Newspaper. Founded 2018. Top Stories DOG DAY AUDITIONS TO TAKE PLACE AT CARSON HALL L02 ON FRIDAY AT 5 by Willy Orwontee Expected to be the event of the season, anybody who's anybody will be... READ MORE HANLON SPOTTED RAGING AT DELTA DELTA PI By Tobias Moortime Though usually quiet and reserved, our mustachioed president was seen pounding... READ MORE DICK'S HOUSE: LAUGHTER MORE EFFECTIVE THAN BED REST, ANTIBIOTICS, SURGERY by Rick Ola Dick's House has begun selling off all other medications as... READ MORE YOUR FRIENDS ON YOU: "FUNNIEST PERSON ALIVE" By Matt Tress "They seem to think they aren't funny, but they are," noted your one close friend, and.. READ MORE TOP SCIENTISTS AGREE: YOU HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO FRIDAY AT 5:00 by Phil Abuster Dr. Jake Roo, a prominent physicist, expressed his doubt that you actually... READ MORE LA NUIT DE CHAT, EVIL IMPROV GROUP, STRIKES AGAIN: NEW HEROES NEEDED By Bad Pun Panic erupted in the streets of Prague yesterday as the notorious... READ MORE COMEDIANS HATE THEM: LOCAL IMPROV GROUP DISCOVERS ONE SIMPLE TRICK FOR MAKING PEOPLE LAUGH SPONSORED ARTICLE This normal group of Dogs was just hanging out in Mid Mass when... READ MORE 99.99% OF POTENTIAL AUDITIONEES REPORT NEVER HAVING DONE IMPROV By Mike Arkies In every class, there is that one kid who was president of their improv... READ MORE EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH YOUR CRUSH By Yuri Lee Cool "If what they say about people with long forms is true," they said with a wink... READ MORE Note from the Editors: We cannot verify any of these claims. In fact, we can prove that most of these claims are false. However, in this age of increasingly uncertain news, we take pride in being a source you know you can't trust. Classifieds DOG DAY AUDITIONS CARSON (basement of Novak) L02 FRIDAY AT 5PM