Oh God oh God turn down the contrast on the laptop. Jesus! Okay, okay, okay, what am I doing? I don't even want to think now... What do my notes say? ... "Blitz to campus about the new online Weekly issue." ... Okay, I'm doing that. Christ!

Ugh... What's next... "Make a joke about Hangover, New Hampshire." God, really? I'm supposed to joke about how Hanover is one letter away from Hangover? Goddammit guys. Really? I miss one Jack-o-Lantern meeting because of Winter Carnival, and you make decisions like this?! Like I haven't heard the Hangover thing before. Is this some kind of cruel joke?! Ugh, if I can just get through this, I can go back to bed. Okay, "Put the link to the Jacko site. Tell people to click on it." Yeah fine whatever.

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http://www.dartmouth.edu/~jacko/v2/<http://www.dartmouth.edu/%7Ejacko/v2/>
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NEW JACKO ONLINE WEEKLY EDITION

FEATURING:

"Why Dartmouth Has No Superheroes" by Kimi Brown

"An Epistle from MC Poopy Pants" by Mike Gillis '12

"Hanging Out" by Kenny Baclawski '12

"An Occurrence at Bones Gate Fraternity" by Alex Procton '15

"Roberto Benigni Gives a Eulogy" by Matt Garczynski '14

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http://www.dartmouth.edu/~jacko/v2/<http://www.dartmouth.edu/%7Ejacko/v2/>
REFRESH THE PAGE IF IT DOESN'T WORK!
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The Jack-o-Lantern is a student humor organization that you can totally join if you're getting this blitz. No experience necessary! We write humor, film humor, make print publications, take Keggy places, and never ever pull pranks on campus. Heh-heh, why would you think we did that?! That's silly. Anyway, we meet in Robinson Hall 204, every Tuesday and Thursday at 9pm. Come on over!