Need a pre-finals distraction? Didn't get a chance to check out the weird magazine in your inbox earlier this week? Wanna critically examine traditional gender roles and the cult of domesticity through a satirical lens? Just looking for a chuckle or two? Look no further!!!!! For the day is here, the time is now, as the Dartmouth Jack-O-Lantern presents... [cid:b08eb317-853d-40d7-b772-8664c889553a] AIGHT HOUSEKEEPING! A Good Housekeeping parody, and the Jack-O's newest issue. Featuring premium content such as: -THE BEST MAKEUP TIPS TO KEEP YOUR FRIENDS FROM REALIZING YOU'RE ACTUALLY A CAT -HOW TO MAKE YOUR HOUSE ARREST FEEL LIKE YOU'RE ACTUALLY IN PRISON -JENNIFER BROUGHT RICE TO THE SCHOOL POTLUCK, LIKE A B**CH -HOW TO GIVE YOUR KID THE TALK SO HE DOESN'T BECOME A DUMB, STINKY VIRGIN -6 HOUSEHOLD ITEMS TO PRINT "LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE" ON JUST TO KEEP YOU GOING -and many, many more! Preliminary Reviews "This is very strange." -Most of our friends "I like it." -Keith "The Jack-O is overrated and not very bright! My wife Melania likes her role in the home and so do other women. It's a shame that these show boats feel the need to say otherwise. Looking for attention. Sad!" -Donald Trump, probably "You know, I don’t want to sound too much like a chauvinist, but when I come home and dinner’s not ready, I’ll go through the roof, okay?"- Donald Trump, actually** "Can I get a hard copy, or do I have to print this out myself? And what does Aight mean here?” -one Editor-in-Chief's mother "Can you please dedicate your time at college to something that will actually look good on your resume?" -the other Editor-in-Chief's mother **and this is why we need to write this stuff Love it SO much you want a print copy? Fear not and have patience, dear Dartmouth. Check a library near you soon (but for now just read the PDF; it's better for the environment anyway.) Read it, share it, love it, tell your friends, tell your grandma, tell my grandma (I haven't called her in a while; she'd probably be down to talk to you.) Alright, goodbye! Love, The Dartmouth Jack-O-Lantern