Need a pre-finals distraction?
Didn't get a chance to check out the weird magazine in your inbox earlier this week?
Wanna critically examine traditional gender roles and the cult of domesticity through a satirical lens?
Just looking for a chuckle or two?

Look no further!!!!!

For the day is here, the time is now, as the Dartmouth Jack-O-Lantern presents...


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AIGHT HOUSEKEEPING! A Good Housekeeping parody, and the Jack-O's newest issue.

Featuring premium content such as:
-THE BEST MAKEUP TIPS TO KEEP YOUR FRIENDS FROM REALIZING YOU'RE ACTUALLY A CAT
-HOW TO MAKE YOUR HOUSE ARREST FEEL LIKE YOU'RE ACTUALLY IN PRISON
-JENNIFER BROUGHT RICE TO THE SCHOOL POTLUCK, LIKE A B**CH
-HOW TO GIVE YOUR KID THE TALK SO HE DOESN'T BECOME A DUMB, STINKY VIRGIN
-6 HOUSEHOLD ITEMS TO PRINT "LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE" ON JUST TO KEEP YOU GOING
-and many, many more!


Preliminary Reviews

"This is very strange." -Most of our friends

"I like it." -Keith

"The Jack-O is overrated and not very bright! My wife Melania likes her role in the home and so do other women. It's a shame that these show boats feel the need to say otherwise. Looking for attention. Sad!" -Donald Trump, probably

"You know, I don’t want to sound too much like a chauvinist, but when I come home and dinner’s not ready, I’ll go through the roof, okay?"- Donald Trump, actually**

"Can I get a hard copy, or do I have to print this out myself? And what does Aight mean here?” -one Editor-in-Chief's mother

"Can you please dedicate your time at college to something that will actually look good on your resume?" -the other Editor-in-Chief's mother

**and this is why we need to write this stuff


Love it SO much you want a print copy? Fear not and have patience, dear Dartmouth. Check a library near you soon (but for now just read the PDF; it's better for the environment anyway.)

Read it, share it, love it, tell your friends, tell your grandma, tell my grandma (I haven't called her in a while; she'd probably be down to talk to you.)

Alright, goodbye!

Love,
The Dartmouth Jack-O-Lantern