"Oh, hey, [you bean-boot wearing alpha]! How are classes going? We should get a meal sometime!"

You're probably sick of it already.  

Let's cut to the chase. We both know FO&M has no clue how to fix your radiator, or how provide you with a restorative dose of your favorite childhood cartoons to help you through the brutal Winter™.

we got u fam

Drop by to help us inaugurate our toasty fireplace tonight over a few episodes of: 

snacks, hot tea, and tide laundry pods provided

come for the warm, stay for the fraaaaands* 

*read: "very stable geniuses"

Phi Tau is a gender-inclusive house located at 31 North Main Street (barn-looking house with the TARDIS-blue door just past Kemeny).  

We have rolling rush, absolutely NO DUES, and everyone is welcome to sign our rush book at anytime!