Behold: A moody king suspects that his nympho of a wife is a bed-swerver (read: “FLOOZY”). Sentenced to die in a fugly dungeon, she instead gives birth to a pretty pretty princess (see: http://tinyurl.com/lxuovrv ).

 

Then the moody father, like the jerk that he is, condemns the baby to death by fire, but instead – in one of the greatest non-sequiturs in theatre history –  someone gets eaten... By a bear (Nathan Grice ’16).

 

Then the pretty princess is raised by some stinky peasants who have some sick dance moves. Despite being smelly and dirty, the princess finds love, but not before everyone gets mad.

 

Then the mad people get married (except for Nathan Grice ’16).

 

In short: