Hey campus, The Jacko here. Click on the link below to read our first Weekly issue of the term. It’s got five new bits of humor from our staff. We’re sure you’ll enjoy it. ================================ http://www.dartmouth.edu/~jacko/v2/<http://www.dartmouth.edu/%7Ejacko/v2/> ================================ We also note that it is very cold outside. That means, unfortunately, that it’s time once again for our resident crazy weatherman Bob Tinderson. Seriously, this man is insane. Please do not take his weather advice, or any other advice he might give. Well, without further ado, and we wish we could stop this, we’ll hand it off to Bob. ================================ http://www.dartmouth.edu/~jacko/v2/<http://www.dartmouth.edu/%7Ejacko/v2/> ================================ HIIIIIIIIYOOOOOOOOOO EVERYBODY! This is Bob Tinderson, the master of natural disaster and the alabaster plaster pastor! It’s a BONE-CHILLING NOSE-HAIR FREEZING -47 degrees in Hanover according to my Weather-Having Instrument of Prediction, AKA my WHIP. And according to my WHIP, the cold has got you in quite a bind! If you find yourself outside in the cold with no protection, remember the safety word is MAPLE SYRUP. That’s right, lather your skin with maple syrup, and you will stay warm! Put it up your nostrils and your nose-hair will not freeze, and your bones will not chill! Take it from me, Bob Tinderson, you’ll thank me later. Now onto the forecast for today’s Jack-o-Lantern weather! I’m predicting brief showers of chuckling, followed by a torrential downpour of tears of laughter soon becoming hail of har-hars and a tornado of guffaws, so you better be on the look-out! --First, we got a comic called “Joke Pirate” by Julie Fiveash ’13. It’s got a guy with a pirate hat in it and he hates it when people make bad jokes in front of him. --Next, there’s “What Your Names For Your Grandparents Say About You” by Kenny Baclawski ’12. This one’s uh… names of grandparents, and it’s um… yeah. --Third, we got “I Manage the War Horse” by Cecil R. Oswalt ’12. I’ll be completely honest with you, I didn’t read this one. I’m sure it’s about horses. --After that, there’s something called “Celebs: Exposed” by Charlie Laud ’14, which I’m reading right now is about celebrities without their make-up on. --Aaaaand lastly we got “My New Year’s Resolution” by Matt Garczynski ’14. That’s right, New Year’s has just a few weeks ago. Find out what Matty will be doing for the next 12 months! Well, that’s it for Bob Tinderson. See you later, and remember, keep your eye on the weather! And also on maple syrup. ================================ http://www.dartmouth.edu/~jacko/v2/<http://www.dartmouth.edu/%7Ejacko/v2/> ================================ Well, that was thoroughly disappointing. We figured Bob didn't read any of the articles. He never does. And we're not exactly sure what he thinks "weather" means. Anyway, we hope you enjoyed the weekly. If you're interested in writing, drawing, or otherwise making humor yourself, please blitz us at [log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]> or come to our open meetings, Tuesday and Thursday at 9pm in Robinson Hall 204.