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December 1999, Week 1

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From:
LLTI-Editor <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
Language Learning and Technology International Information Forum <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Fri, 3 Dec 1999 19:54:52 EST
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--- Forwarded Message from "Daniel E. Meyers" <[log in to unmask]> ---

>Date: Thu, 2 Dec 1999 17:03:06 -0500
>To: [log in to unmask]
>From: "Daniel E. Meyers" <[log in to unmask]>
>Subject: Hickbonics
>Cc: "Meyers, Dale & Elaina" <[log in to unmask]>

HICKBONICS

The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue some of the
seemingly endless taxpayer dollar pipelined through Washington designating
Southern slang, or "Hickbonics," as a language to be taught in all
Southern schools. A speaker of this language would be a Hickophone.

The following are excerpts from the Hickbonics/English dictionary:

HEIDI - (noun) -Greeting.

HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting.
Usage: Heidi, Hire yew?"

BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
Usage: "Mah brother bard my pickup truck."

JAWJUH - (noun) - The State north of Florida.  Capitol is Lanner.
Usage: "Mah brother from Jawjuh bard mah pickup truck."

BAMMER - (noun) - The State west of Jawjuh's.  Capitol is Berminhayum.
Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in
       improvements."

MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division.
Usage: "Mah brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't
       herd from him in munts."

THANK - (verb) - Ability to cognitively process.
Usage: "Ah thank a'll have a bare."

BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast.
Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native."
Usage: "Them Bammer boys sure are ignert!"

RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts.
Usage: "I thank I left mah ranch in the back of that pickup truck
       mah brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."

ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: "I sure hope mah brother from Jawjuh puts all in mah pickup truck."

FAR - (noun) - A conflagration.
Usage: "If mah brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup
       truck, that thing's gonna catch far."

TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel.
Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a
       flat tar in my pickup truck."

TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument.
Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see
       that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

RETARD - (verb) - To stop working.
Usage: "Mah grampaw retard at age 65."

FAT - (noun), (verb) -- a battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat.
Usage: "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'all."

RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege.
Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."

FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic.
Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed...must be from some farn
country."

DID - (adjective) - Not alive.
Usage: "He's did, Jim."

EAR - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas: Oxygen.
Usage: "He cain't breathe...give 'im some ear!"

BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."

JEW HERE - (noun) and (verb) contraction.
Usage: "Jew here that mah brother from Jawjuh got a job with that
       bob war fence cump'ny?"

HAZE - a contraction.
Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah...haze ignert.
       He ain't thanked in yars."

SEED - (verb) - past tense of "to see".
VIEW - contraction: (verb) and pronoun.
Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City...view?"

GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution.
Usage: "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert.

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