--- Forwarded Message from Michael Bush <[log in to unmask]> ---
>Date: Sun, 05 Dec 1999 13:46:23 +0000
>From: Michael Bush <[log in to unmask]>
>Subject: RE: #5376 (FUN) Hickbonics
>In-reply-to: <[log in to unmask]>
>To: Language Learning and Technology International Information Forum <[log in to unmask]>
>Importance: Normal
------------------
As a Bammer boy mahself, I jest had to tell ya'll that whosomeever wrote
this heah piece on Hickbonics musta bin some ignert soul who ain't terribly
brite. Why I seed rat away that they all must be from the gubmint or
somethin! They all oughta thank before wratin' (rhymes with rat and fat,
both of which are defined below)!
The capital of Bammer ain't Berminhayum, but it is Mungomry, the town where
I was borned and where I growed up!
And by the way, I am sick and tarred of everyone thankin' that because we
talk this way, we are ignert! The ignert ones are actually those carpet
baggin' souls who might as well be from some farn country who thank they
know everythin' and who wrat such gobbage as this!
Haze (shaze, if we are not to be sexist ) jest askin' for a fat!
Cheers,
Michael Bush
Associate Professor of French and
Instructional Psychology and Technology
Brigham Young University
[log in to unmask]
http://moliere.byu.edu/digital/
See glossary below if the context is not sufficient to ascertain from
context those meanings that are crucial to your reading comprehension!
Send E-mail if you still don't get it!
By the way when does the RFP for gubmint grants go out to get some of that
money?!?!
-----Original Message-----
From: Language Learning and Technology International Information Forum
[mailto:[log in to unmask]]On Behalf Of LLTI-Editor
Sent: Saturday, December 04, 1999 12:55 AM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: #5376 (FUN) Hickbonics
--- Forwarded Message from "Daniel E. Meyers" <[log in to unmask]> ---
>Date: Thu, 2 Dec 1999 17:03:06 -0500
>To: [log in to unmask]
>From: "Daniel E. Meyers" <[log in to unmask]>
>Subject: Hickbonics
>Cc: "Meyers, Dale & Elaina" <[log in to unmask]>
HICKBONICS
The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue some of the
seemingly endless taxpayer dollar pipelined through Washington designating
Southern slang, or "Hickbonics," as a language to be taught in all
Southern schools. A speaker of this language would be a Hickophone.
The following are excerpts from the Hickbonics/English dictionary:
HEIDI - (noun) -Greeting.
HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting.
Usage: Heidi, Hire yew?"
BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
Usage: "Mah brother bard my pickup truck."
JAWJUH - (noun) - The State north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner.
Usage: "Mah brother from Jawjuh bard mah pickup truck."
BAMMER - (noun) - The State west of Jawjuh's. Capitol is Berminhayum.
Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in
improvements."
MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division.
Usage: "Mah brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't
herd from him in munts."
THANK - (verb) - Ability to cognitively process.
Usage: "Ah thank a'll have a bare."
BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast.
Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."
IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native."
Usage: "Them Bammer boys sure are ignert!"
RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts.
Usage: "I thank I left mah ranch in the back of that pickup truck
mah brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."
ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: "I sure hope mah brother from Jawjuh puts all in mah pickup truck."
FAR - (noun) - A conflagration.
Usage: "If mah brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup
truck, that thing's gonna catch far."
TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel.
Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a
flat tar in my pickup truck."
TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument.
Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see
that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."
RETARD - (verb) - To stop working.
Usage: "Mah grampaw retard at age 65."
FAT - (noun), (verb) -- a battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat.
Usage: "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'all."
RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege.
Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."
FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic.
Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed...must be from some farn
country."
DID - (adjective) - Not alive.
Usage: "He's did, Jim."
EAR - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas: Oxygen.
Usage: "He cain't breathe...give 'im some ear!"
BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."
JEW HERE - (noun) and (verb) contraction.
Usage: "Jew here that mah brother from Jawjuh got a job with that
bob war fence cump'ny?"
HAZE - a contraction.
Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah...haze ignert.
He ain't thanked in yars."
SEED - (verb) - past tense of "to see".
VIEW - contraction: (verb) and pronoun.
Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City...view?"
GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution.
Usage: "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert.
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